Believe it or not, “www.iheartkevin.com” started as a dating website… I couldn’t have been more selfish and wrong.
In February of 2015 one of my best mates, friends, sister, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend all around incredible human, Arthur (@theartie), and I bought the domain “www.iheartkevin.com”. We were basically going to create an online dating website where all candidates would just be paired with me and no one else but me. The standard profile of mine would include very revealing and uncomfortably awkward profiles and photos of myself, however regardless of how you entered your information, you would just – be – paired – with – me.
It never launched. For very different and personal reasons, Arthur and I went our separate ways. Mainly for the purpose of Arthur going on a long self-promised journey to the East coast.
I want to mention, before we continue, despite how Arthur may come off to most people he’s not met or to new friends and so forth, he is NOT a selfish man. Arthur is an incredibly giving and loving and wonderfully human person. More so than most people I know. Moving on…
As for me… I was in a pattern of self-deprecation. Substance abuse on and off heavily for almost 4-5 whole years. I tried all of the suggestions. AA meetings. SMART meetings. Abstinence occasionally. Abstinence regularly.
When I stopped lying to, not only my friends and family. It changed. A lot.
While I practiced the ideas above, it wasn’t for me, it was for them. I just fed lip service so I could continue.
Then I woke up one day after having, for some realization, the idea that I should and was in control the whole time. I had been 75% abstinent and, more importantly, I had been visiting this incredible therapist.
I can’t attribute the apex moment. I don’t know the event. And I promise to come back to you when I recognize it, because it is in there somewhere. So, the taste, the smell, the desire, the look, the feel, the want, the need. JUST – ALL – STOPPED. Especially the desires to self medicate just fell away.
I have NEVER felt more human, more like Kevin Goldman. More like ME. Still a wee bit confused.
I know I have some bits to sort but that is the real me, my ‘modus operandi’.
www.kevingoldman.com, while not originally created as a statement of love, the message is pure and true. Kevin Goldman, or, I Heart Kevin brings a message of hope, love, purity and consideration. Through physical connections, media and social media I Heart Kevin intends to provide positive and loving messages to the www.iheartkevin.com platform, the social networking platforms but most importantly the realistic human platforms.
I sincerely love you the reader,
I Heart Kevin
Last Edited on: April 19th, 2018